Here are some of the things we like to find backstage backstage…
1) Food: The five of us together have the combined appetite of an inner city school. We love to eat and are incredibly appreciative of any venue that is kind enough to provide us with food. Charlie is a dirty veggie, which comes with a whole range of inbuilt problems and confused looking waiting staff. Little Tom only eats burgers, which in the classy venues we gig in is never a problem. Big Tom and Sam will eat literally anything, in as large a portion as is available whilst Matt despite having the physique of a garden hoe once ate a whole cow backstage in Birmingham.
2) Unusual Entertainment: In Nottingham we rocked out on a grand piano with Nathan Caton, in Newcastle we played ping pong with Chris Ramsey and Kai Humphries whilst in Oxford we shared our green room with a 6ft tall cuddly gorilla. We abused that gorilla. That poor, innocent toy gorilla. Finding a game backstage is like watching a cat loose it’s balance – unexpectedly satisfying. Recently the Tom’s unearthed a game of Guess Who in Brighton and spent an hour playing ‘Non Physical Guess Who’ asking questions like “Has your character ever had an affair at work?” and “Has your character ever worked as a butcher?” – Amazingly – They both got it right. Spooky.
3) Good People: We wouldn’t want to make a list of our favourite comedians that we have met back stage – The truth is that on our four years on the comedy circuit we have made a lot of really wonderful friends. We really are honoured to be in an industry full of people that make us laugh on and off stage. It makes our job so much easier.
4) Caffeine: HOW DARE YOU LOOK US IN THE EYES WITHOUT BRINGING US F*%KIG COFFEE! WHAT THE F#@K IS? THIS AMATEUR HOUR? BRING US COFFEE RIGHT F^£kING NOW OR WE WILL CALL OUR AGENT AND HE WILL EAT YOUR UGLY F*@KING HEAD FOR BREAKFAST. (Or similar)